“Forget the Magic of Discovery, It’s Learning Outcomes that Help Students Identify, Comprehend, and Synthesize Their Dreams,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“We Are Women Fetuses, and We Are Pro-Choice,”
Weekly Humorist

“What it Means When a Woman Says She is “Sex-Positive,” According to Brian from Hinge,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“We’re Scrapping Our Ged-Ed Program in Favor of Survival Skills Training,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Congratulations on Your New Academic Position of Assistant Professor of Annual Reviews, Merit Reviews,
Peer Reviews, Student Evaluations, Tenure Review, Post-tenure Review, and [Your Discipline],”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“The Transition from Homeschooling to Home-colleging Hasn’t Been as Smooth as We Hoped,”
The Monocle of Higher Ed

“The Narrator of ‘Jessie’s Girl’ Offers an Apology After Completing his Master’s in Women and Gender
Studies,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Due to the Teacher Shortage, Washington High School is Now Operating in Goblin Mode,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“How to Apply No-Makeup Makeup: A Guide for Mature Women,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Initial Report on the Labradoodle Integration Project at Gates of the Arctic National Park,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Prayer of the Assistant Professor Going Up for Tenure,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Out-of-Office Messages to Ensure They Never E-mail You Again,”
Slackjaw

“Jesus Christ Applies for VP of Student Success,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“As a Teacher, I Agree with Mitch McConnell: Parents Should Tell Schools What to Teach,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“CDC Releases New Safe Sex Guidelines for Sterilized and Unsterilized People,”
Weekly Humorist

“Of All Your Teaching Skills, Passion is the Most Important,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

“Things I’ve Done out of an Abundance of Caution: I’m Now Brainwashed, but I Don’t Have Covid,”
Slackjaw

“Simple Lines to Drop for Getting out of Babysitting Your Friends’ New Baby: How to Pre-emptively
Eliminate Yourself from Consideration,”
Points in Case

“Coronavirus Task Force Pivots to Fight Murder Hornets,”
The Satirist

“Dove Chocolate Promises, Amended for COVID-19,”
Slackjaw

“Adjunct Professor or Sex Worker, Who Said It?”
Slackjaw

“The New Ten-Factor Authentication Processes for University Faculty,”
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency